


'Cause You Only Know You've Been High, When You're Feeling Low

by dont_cry_larry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cute, Fluffy, Happy Ending, I really like the ending, I wrote this withing two hours - huge warning, Louis Smokes, M/M, and Zayn is still in the band, at first they are 17 and 19, based on the song let her go by passengers, but a little sad as well, it's fluffy, larry stylinson - Freeform, management is shit as always, so fetus Larry, theres no smut though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 12:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5708140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dont_cry_larry/pseuds/dont_cry_larry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my dream as well. I know Harry is lovely and cute and I enjoyed the last few weeks, but I am not enough into this relationship to give up our career.</p><p>"So, it's decided? We're gonna break up?" Harry asks and I nod.</p><p>or</p><p>The one where 19 year-old Louis and 17 year-old Harry decide to split up, because their management-team explains them a gay relationship isn't fancied by the fans. But, when the two of them have to act like friends, it's starting to become complicated and Louis realises his mate means more to him than he thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'Cause You Only Know You've Been High, When You're Feeling Low

**Author's Note:**

> This one was inspired by the song 'Let Her Go' by 'Passengers'.  
> I am not kidding you, I listened to the song for the, like, twohundred-twenty-sixth time and suddenly I had this story in my head while eating dinner and I run upstairs to write it down immediately.  
> I hope the whole lot of you like it!  
> Hugs and Kisses from the writer xoxo

"I mean we're not that serious anyways, right?" Harry asks me with his his sweet sweet voice, looking down at me, his eyes big.

I shake my head and shrug my shoulders at the same time. "And we are gaining more attention with our band. It's not like we have to suddenly stop seeing each other, right? We'll still be best friends," I answer him and squeeze his stupidly big and sweaty hand in mine.

"Yeah, I don't want to give this life up, for something I am not certain of." He looks a little torn though. But, I know that look. And I know him. He always dreamed of this life style, always wanted to become famous and he has the voice and looks for it, definitely. I don't want to stop him from making his dream come true.

And furthermore, this is my dream as well. I know Harry is lovely and cute and I enjoyed the last few weeks, but I am not enough into this relationship to give up our career.

"Me neither," I smile a little.

"So, it's decided? We're gonna break up?" Harry asks and I nod.

"But, can I kiss you one last time? Like, as if to say good bye?" I nod once again and close my eyes when I feel his warm palm on my cheek.

I sight when I feel Harry's lips against mine. Just as soft as I had them in my memory. The kiss is innocent, as always, and when my teeth graze against his plump bottom lip. I feel him shudder beneath my hands, which are placed on his waist underneath the soft cotton shirt.

We are too young to keep it this way anyways. Only nineteen and seventeen, it was bound to come like this. None of us are used to be in a relationship with another guy and we have only ever thought about this after we met at the XFactor.

I pull away slowly and smile when Harry pecks my lips one more time. I'm going to miss this, probably only a little bit. But I will. There's no chance that we would stay together during the next few years anyways. Katie Ray explained us that a relationship between two guys isn't going to be the best thing in a boyband, which is loved by tons of teenage girls.

I understand her, I do and it's probably the right thing that we are breaking up.

"So let's call Katie and tell her, shall we?" Harry asks and already fumbles around on his phone, opening his contacts and looking for our manager's name.

"Yeah, you wanna watch a movie later on?" I ask him while trying to look on his screen over his shoulder.

"Can you tell the boys to come too, while I call Katie? I'm back in a second." He holds the phone to his ear, walking a few feet away to talk without being distracted. I take my phone out as well and send a quick text to the other's, telling them to come over in half an hour and bring pizza.

I actually expected to spend some alone time with Harry, but right. We aren't together anymore.

The evening is a little awkward, me and Harry pressed close together while trying not to touch as much as possible. He doesn't lay his head on my shoulder, like he normally does, and I don't wrap my arms as tight as possible around his body, holding him close to me. Zayn only raises an eyebrows at me, having me shake my head. Niall and Liam try to ignore the thick tension, but leave earlier than they normally would. Eventually Zayn leaves as well, and me and Harry are still on the couch, Harry having scooted away a little, only out knees touching now.

"This is so weird now," Harry finally says and I chuckle.

"Yeah, why can't it be like before?" I question and look at him, his green eyes, his rosy cheeks and his soft and pink lips.

"I don't know. We've always acted like a couple. We- we always cuddled and hugged and held hands." Harry states out. Now that I think about it, I realise it is acutally ture. We've never been normal friends, always been a little more touchy than with the others.

"So, we have to learn how to be friends?" When I say it like that, it sounds hilariously dumb. Harry laughs.

"Yeah, I guess so." After a moment of silence Harry adds, "G'night, Louis. I'm going to sleep now."

I nod, a little left out. He hasn't called me my real name ever before. Only when we fought, and we always sleep together in one bed. This is a whole lot to get used to. But, we can make it. I know we can.

"Wait, I'm just going to get my blanket," I rush to his room, where he is already standing with my sheets in his hand. He is holding my pillow also and it somehow makes my heart hurt.

"Goodnight," I say, taking the things and heading to my own room.

This is weird, it's my own room and I still feel uncomfortable in it. It's somehow unfamiliar to me, since I always sleep in Harry's room. And I mean always, I've once slept in my own bed thanks to a fight we had and when I thought Harry was alseep, I tiptoed into his room, laying down on the bed next to him. I couldn't fall asleep alone.

Well, this is goiong to be great now.

I sight while stripping down to my boxers, wanting to put on the shirt I am always wearing to sleep, but then realising it is Harry's. I'll have to give it back to him in the morning, but now I am too tired. I lay down with a small sight and no t-shirt on, since I only like to sleep in bigger ones. I should buy some.

When I close my eyes, I don't feel tired at all though. I turn around only to realise that I still haven't bushed my teeth. Duh, forgetting it once isn't going to be so bad.

At the end, I lay awak for at least two more hours, tossing and turning and not being able to calm down until I hear small patterns of feet coming closer and someone opening my door. A warm presence is laying down next to me and I smile when Harry lays his head on my chest. I know he can't sleep without me either.

"Goodnight, Lou," Harry whispers into the dark and I lean down to kiss his head slowly. Tomorrows we'll sleep by ourselves. It's just for tonight.

-

"You sure Liam?" Harry grins, straddling his waist and looking down at him while he pins his hands above his head. "You don't want to give up?"

"No, why should I, you little menance?" Louis is laughing too, clearly not strong enough to get out of Harry's grip. He's gotten a lot stronger the last few months, Harry. Gained weight, but because of his muscles. His skin isn't as milky as before, he's become tanner and his biceps grew. And he has a whole lot of tattoos, really really big ones.

He's gotten so hot, it's unfair.

"Hey, Lou? What's got you so distracted?" Zayn nudges his elbow in my rip lightly and I sight, shrugging.

"I just miss him, you know?"

Zayn nods as an answer. "Sometimes you don't know what you have, until you lose it, eh?" He tries to make a joke out of it, tires to make me smile and laugh too, but I just swallow and look at my hands in my lap.

He's right. I shouldn't have let us break up, I shouldn't have let this happen, but now it's too late. Now, Harry's gotten over me and probably doesn't even remember our time together.

The last few months were hell. At first I thought, it would get better, that I would get used to Harry ignoring me more than not and sleeping without him in an empty bed. But, I still can't fall asleep without him and always am shocked when he asks Liam for help and not me. It's seems like he replaced me with Liam.

I am sick of this.

I stand up apruptly and go out of the main room of the bus, walking over to the bunks. I can hear Harry asking concerned what's wrong with me and if I am alright, but Zayn just tells him to stop worrying.

He doesn't have to act as if he actually cares about me, I don't know why he is doing that.

I slip out of my VAN's and lay down in Harry's bunk, because it's just there. I dont want to climb up into mine. I close the curtain behind me as I feel a few tears threatening to spill out of my eyes. I swallow and wipe at my eyes, but it doesn't stop anything and a few seconds later I am crying into my mate's pillow.

It smells so nice like the apple shampoo, Harry always uses. That though only makes me tear up only more. I pull the blanket up to my head, surrounded by Harry's sweet smell. My nose starts leaking and I bite in the covers, stopping myself from sobbing out loud.

"Louis? Lou, Louis? Are you here?" I hear a voice with a thick irish accent and at first I am disspointed, that it isn't Harry, who is looking for me, but then I realise that it's good it's not Harry. Wat would he have thought? His ex-boyfriend crying embarassingly into his pillow? No, that wouldn't be all to good.

"Lou, oh god," Niall opens the curtain and I can see him holding back tears as soon as he sees me. He's never been good with seeing his his mates cry. That poor lad, I don't want him to be sad as well. "L-Lou? Are you homesick?" Niall asks, his voice breaking and his bottom lip wobbling.

"N-no, I- I just miss Harry," I tell him, because I need to tell him. He's one of my best lads and at the moment I don't even care if Harry found out. The boys have probably already realised what's up with me.

"Harry?" The blond boy asks and wipes a small tear away, making me nod. "Harry! Harry!" Niall runs out of the small room and into the one where the other three are sitting.

"Oh god, no," I shake my head, burrying my face in my hands. "No, no no no."

But, it's already too late. Harry is kneeling down next to the bunk and when he sees me, he lets out a gasp, his eyes wide. He climbs into the bunk next to me, even though I try to push him away, away from me. I am not determined enough, I am not strong enought at the moment.

"Lou, Lou, baby. Shh, I'm here, I'm here," Harry whispers as he cradles me in his arms, holding me close to his chest while I am starting to sob in his neck. "Shh," he hushes me, small kisses being pressed against the side of my head.

But, I don't seem to calm down even one little bit. I hold onto Harry's shoulders while crying loudly. My whole body is shaking with my sobs, but I feel warm and not so left out. I feel like I need to do this, need to cry until I don't feel empty anymore.

The two of us stay like this for at least half an hour, until I lose consciousness and fall into a deep sleep, clinging closely to Harry.

-

I wake up sweaty, my damp hair pressed to my forehead. I try to roll around in the small bunk but something warm and soft has me trapped. When I open my eyes, I can see Harry and his arm pinning me down to the bed, not giving me any chance to get away. I need water though. And probably a cigarette, too. The've become one of my best friends during the last few months.

I slip out, underneath his arm and climb carefully over his body, trying not to wake him. He starts to stirr in his sleep and I lean down to leave a small peck on his cheekbone. "Shh, Haz. I'll be back in a few. Sleep, hm?" I lull him back to sleep.

Then, I tiptoe out of the room, not wanting to wake the other boys if I stay there. I get a small bottle of water out of the fride and then take Harry's big and and warm jacket and cuddle into it while opening the tourbus-door and step into the cold.

Of course it is summer, but at night, the weather is still too cold to be outside without a jacket. I open the bottle and drink a few big gulps, before putting it on the ground and getting out the cigarettes from Zayn and a lighter. I put the fag in my mouth and light it, dragging air through it.

It doesn't even taste that bad anymore, after months of getting used to it.

I lean back against the bus, enjoying the cold air on my face. I close my eyes, and distracted from the smell of the smoke, I don't hear the footsteps coming closer.

"You said, you'd be back soon." Harry's voice startles me and I open my eyes wide, gazing up at the taller man.

I smile when I realise, who it is, before shrugging my shoulders. "Needed fresh air and a little time to think."

"Think about what?" Harry asks, coming to stand next to me, so I can feel his body warmth.

"Nothing, but why didn't you just continue sleeping?" I question back.

"Y'know, you're not the only one who can't sleep alone," Harry answer just like that, before taking the cigarette out of my hand and trowing it on the ground, stomping on it. "That's a bad habit. I want you to stop it, Lou." And suddenly he is so much closer to me, than he was before. I want to answer, to say some sassy remark back at him, but then his lips are pressed against mine.

"God, you taste so bad," Harry chuckles, before pulling me back into a kiss, his hands in my hair pushing me closer to him. At first I am shocked, but I soon start to kiss back, my hands with a tight grip around his neck, fumbling with the fabric of his shirt there.

Harry's other hand wanders to the small of my back and he pulls me even closer, our whole bodies colliding and me having to lean back and look up at him. My hands link behind his neck and I pull him down with me, shuddering when I feel his tongue licking along my bottom lip. Oh, how much I've missed this.

HIs tongue licks into my mouth and I open up immediately, moaning lowly into his. I tug at the hair in the back of his neck a little and feel my knees give in as his tongue licks over mine and bumps against it a few more times.

But, he just tightens the grip on my waist, his other hand placed there too, gripping my hip tightly. He kisses me lazily and I follow his leads, my mouth parting even more as he licks along my teeth.

After a few more minutes we part, panting against each other's lips, foreheads leaned against each other.

"I missed you, too."

-

"We could just cover it up with some story, telling them that Zayn maybe dared you to, because you saw the paps earlier. You could also deny it and say it wasn't you. Or, we could hire someone to make the rumours about the two of you go away, maybe a model?" I look up and bite my lip, looking at Harry, who shakes his head.

In front of us are magazines with the pictures of us kissing. It's a little blurry and dark, but you can definitely see that it is Harry hovering over me, with his jacket on and him only in a shirt. Our lips are locked and I am held up by him, careful that I don't fall.

All in all, the pictures actually looks quite nice. Very romantic, at least.

"No, thanks. We actually don't want some cover up story, this time." I tell Katie through the phone, Harry's bing hand caressing my back.

"Really not? You remember what I have told you? About gay boybanders?" Harry rolls his eyes and mimicks her talking, making me giggle quietly in my hand.

His eyes are shining as he picks up the phone. "Both of us are certain. We are going to stay together, it wasn't a good desicion we made nearly a year ago, we both realised that. So, we are going to think about a few ways to come out."

The speaker is on and we both can here her scoff. "Well, at least let me tell you a few ideas how you could do-"

Harry hangs up.

"Y'know, Lou? I think we are just going to wait a few days and then go out together? Maybe on a date or something? I know a great restaurant back home, where people can see us, but not bother us too much. How about we go there and then continue to be seen in public, holding hands or so? We'll be in the spotlight for quite a while, but when are we not, right?"

My bottom lip wobbles lightly, but I force myself not to start crying about that, I am no crybaby. I've already cried enough.

"Lou, baby wha-" I cut Harry off with throwing myself on top of him and attacking his lips with mine. His hands find my bum immediately and hold me there, securing me from a fall off the couch.

"Nothing," I mumble against his lips. "Nothing is wrong, Harry. It's perfect, I love the idea."

Harry grins as he presses tons of small pecks against my lips. "A perfect idea, for my perfect boyfriend."

I blush immediately, hiding my face in his shoulder.

It's going to be tough few months, maybe even a year. But, I can make it as long as Harry is by my side. We're going to make it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I appreciate every single hit!  
> But, dont forget to leave kudos and comments!  
> Love you and thanks again !!


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